In my session with Dr. Bonnie Greenwell Ph.D. she started off with stating that based on my assessment, I did not appear to have common symptoms of mental illness. This was a relief to me, even though I was still a bit confused. I had trouble accepting that a Kundalini Awakening was an actual thing.
I was overwhelmingly perplexed at how I could possibly go through 34 years of my life never hearing the term, especially given the variety of specialists I had seen over the years. Apparently, this is not an unusual story.
Through our discussion, we determined that my Kundalini began rising in 2010, as triggered by the birth of my first child.
- Feeling angry (even enraged) and disappointed in the world and humanity
- Feeling like I didn’t belong
- Search for meaningful relationship and connections with like-minded people
- Purge of people in my life that exhibited toxic/draining behaviours
- Search for purpose in life and everything that I attended to
- Existential crisis
- Fear of death/dying/illness
- Periodic feelings of complete contentment with death/dying
- Mood swings
- Overwhelming sense of responsibility to contribute to the world in a bigger way
- Angered and intolerant of hypocrisy
- Intolerant of ignorance
- Intolerant of negativity
- Constant questioning and evaluation of what really matters
- Traumatic birthing experience resulting in 4th degree episiotomy
- Tailbone pain that lasted approximately 1 year
- Facial/sinus pain, particularly behind my eyes, nose and forehead
- Ear pain, hearing difficulty and sensation of ears feeling blocked that lasted approximately 1 year
- Trembling for no apparent reason, even waking up in the night trembling with no sense of fear
- Sensitivity to light, sound and touch
- Feeling dizzy and loosing my balance
- Transient joint, back and neck pain
- Vaginal pain- spasms of intense soreness, bulging, searing pain
- Feeling bouts of extreme cold (to the bone) lasting for hours at a time
- Feeling bouts of extreme heat (radiating body heat in the absence of fever) lasting for hours at a time
- Irregular or sporadic spells of rapid heartbeats
- Digestive problems
- Itching all over, particularly my feet
- Transient pain and discomfort in my tendons and ligaments
- Sharp, searing and crawling sensations in my scalp, muscles, joins and tendons
- Heavy pressure in my throat (on and off over the years) lasting for months at a time
- Chronic head aches (or localized head pains) that lasted chronically for over 10 months
- Transient deep inner ear pain that has lasted over 15 months
- Shoulder pain that would come and go but last for weeks at a time
- Chest pain near my heart, through to my upper back
- Jaw pain
- Electricity shooting up and down my body at night
- Hearing buzzing in both ears but not at the same time
- Seeing flashes of light (similar to a camera flash) ongoing for over 8 months
- Seeing star-like sparkles in my field of visions (varying in colour but most often white, blue, and pink)
- Seeing rainbows through people
- Seeing shadows and white orbs or meteor-like things zipping around the room (anywhere and everywhere)
- Seeing sparkles, geometric shapes, streamers, and almost a firework display of lights when I close my eyes at night
- Premonitions, visions, synchronicities, vivid dreams, and observation of unexplainable events
- Feeling like my eyes are wide open in the dark of the night, when I know they are shut, accompanied by seeing visions
- Seeing the air move (like heat waves, riffs, gaseous distortions)
- Feeling heavy energy in some physical spaces
- Hearing sounds such a piano playing, whispers, talking, knocking in walls, footsteps
- Witnessing object materialize out of thin air before my eyes
- Witnessing (hearing, feeling) doors slamming shut, only to discover that no door physically shut
- Lights flickering (sometimes I’m the only one who can see it), gas fireplace turning on multiple times on its own
- Extreme heightening of my senses, particularly sight (ability to see details such as dust everywhere in the air that I had never noticed before)
- Bolt of electricity similar to a lightening bolt hitting my brain from the right side of my head and making a electrical zapping sound. I can “see” it from behind my eyes as it happens. This is usually followed by burning eyes, particularly my right eye
I had seen specialists including the Rheumatologist, Dermatologist, Gastroenterologist, Cardiologist, Internist, Endocrinologist, Neurologist, Optometrist, and Psychotherpist. Naturally, I was trying to rule out valid medical explanations. And this was a critical step.
I learned in our discussion that it made perfect sense to consider the possibility that childbirth evoked my Kundalini to rise, and it is likely that as a result, I also had a psychic opening.
“When kundalini arises you are entering a new phase of development: in a way this is a de-volution, a kind of shedding of your old patterns, both emotional and physical. Your energy body is shifting, rewiring itself, dumping toxins, and creating new potentials for consciousness.” – Kundalini Guide
That session helped me tremendously by validating that what I was experiencing as a normal and natural process. I see it as akin to puberty. This transition period to a conscious and awakened state is not often described in the western world…and western medical practices are limited.
Prior to discovering what a Kundalini Awakening is, I was terrified in my own skin -I thought I was crazy and I thought I was dying. I also previously did not necessarily believe in psychics or the after-life. My previous binary worldviews were actually the root cause of why this transition was very difficult for me.
I now realize that my experiences are very natural. I have since been guided toward leaders in consciousness research and experts in the supernatural who have helped me to better understand my abilities.
Now that I understand it, I have openly embraced my experiences. I no longer feel the need to try to control them, shut them down and/or turn them off.