One night, before I had ever heard of a Kundalini Awakening, and somewhere along my medical journey of navigating my mystery ailments and super natural experiences, I had something terrifying happen.
Laying in bed, praying to something, I begged for answers to what was going on in my life. I begged to help me understand it. I begged to help me make this, make sense.
I didn’t expect to discover the meaning of life, but just to make it make sense.
I let my mind wonder into a series of deep existentialism thoughts. I re-imagined the over-medicalized childbirth experience that participated in.
I began stripping away all of the culturally-influenced ideas that I held about the creation of life, birth, dying and death. The continual flow of creation and destruction at a cellular level.
My mind wondered into a space where human (actually all mammal) reproduction appeared clearly to me as a giant form of the cellular process taking place. I did not understand all of the details on a scientific level, the ways cells are created and multiply, and evolve, and die, but I could identify the distinct process of a single being- upon contact with another thing, causing a chemical process to take place, results in the production of a new thing. And it grows as an independent thing, from a lifeline attached to its mother.
At the end of the life process, inside the womb- there is an exit from the current life condition. And the only way the life can survive on earth is once the lifeline from the mother is severed, and the creation of an autonomous, independent being wonders the planet.
My mind continued to piece it together. As I let my thoughts roll through the process of life on earth, slowly degrading from the day of the birth; and contemplating if there’s a similar transition process that may take place beyond the physical body as we know it to be on earth –I suddenly felt a bolt of lightening zap through my head.
It made an electrical zap sound, as it instantaneously came from, what felt like my right ear out through the upper left portion of my brain where it exited my body.
I “saw” the white blast of light from behind my eyes.
It did not hurt at all.
But I sat up in my bed, absolutely terrified- I started crying to my husband that I thought I may have just had a seizure.
He was confused by what I was describing had just happened. We didn’t know if I should go to the hospital…which I declined because I was embarrassed to describe what just hit me- and caused absolutely no pain sensation at all.
Google had very few possible explanations for my experience, and I had limited ways in which I felt I could articulate what just happened.
We decided I would bring it up at my upcoming appointment with the neurologist.
In the days leading up to my appointment I noticed my senses appeared to be heightened. My eyes started burning, and I would hear an electrical buzzing sound in my ear. I could see dust particles, hear different sounds and feel things that were not even physically touching me.
My medical team ruled out a number of suspect explanations in my eyes and brain.
I speak more of this in the Blog Post the Rising of Kundalini, here
Basically there was no medical explanation. I sat in some peculiar space between a migraine sufferer and someone having seizures…or something else.
It felt critical for me to get a medical label on what I was going through. But part of the trouble was, that I didn’t know what to describe in my experiences– who to speak to, where it started and where it ended. Should I tell the neurologist that I can see energy move through the air? Should I tell him about the piano music and talking in my ears? Should I mention to him that beads materiazlized out of thin air in front of my eyes in a restaurant bathroom? Should I tell him that if I ask a question in my mind, I get an answer or direct sign in the physical world?